Tuesday, December 27, 2011

In Memory...

A little over a month ago I received a phone call... you know the kind: where you're hit with the news that causes a pit to form in your stomach and panic to get caught in your throat; that ends in a mess of tears and a struggle to find the right thing to do.  The hard kind of phone call... the worst kind. 

It was from my sister, letting me know that my Grandmother had been rushed to the hospital and that the family was gathering.  That it looked like the end... 

I thanked her for letting me know and at that moment, everything started spinning.  I was at work that day and couldn't get it covered, there was a horrible snow storm headed the direction I needed to go, and Chris couldn't get off to take me.  I just needed to be there with my family.  I was able to make it through the next two days of work and then Thursday night I got another call.  This time saying "If you're going to come, you need to come now."  So I got the next day covered at work and braved the weather all by myself and headed up to the hospital in Trail, BC.  The trip that should of taken me 4 1/2 hours, took me 7 with the snow and crazy drivers, but I made it.  And I was able to say goodbye to my Grandma and be with my family through one of the hardest times we've ever faced.  

I will cherish those last moments I was able to spend by her side before she passed away on Sunday evening, November 20, 2011.  I stroked her arm, fed her slivers of oranges, gave her water and little ice cubes, and talked...I told her all about what my life has been the last year, about service and the joy its bringing me, about our new house and decorating it, about married life, about music and spiritual things.  And through it all I regretted not taking the time to be with her before, not calling her to share stories before, not visiting.  The resurrection hope is made more real in these circumstances... and I will try to live my life the way that she did: in full service to God so that I may one day see her again, in perfect health with her bright smile.  

I have tried for many days (almost a month now) to write about how this has effected me.  I know I need to put pen to paper and pour out the emotions, but the words just do not come for some reason.  The poetry escapes me.  Perhaps I just need more time, but I wanted to at least write this blog post in her memory.  To not let this moment that's had such a huge impact on me pass by without mention.  


Thank you for your patience as I've been grieving and been a little quiet around the blog lately.  And thank you for reading this post, and for in just a little way, helping me celebrate her life and who she was as a person, a wife, mother and grandmother, and a servant of Jehovah.  

Hug your loved ones every chance you get.  

2 comments:

  1. Your blog post brought tears to my eyes, Shaina. It reminded me so much of the last minutes I spent with my mother...13 years ago. It was one of the hardest days of my life, but at the same time, I am glad I was there. One day we will see them again, though. What a blessing it is to have that hope!

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